Vanessa
The WAM Interview
The WAM Interview
Children, it seems, have a much easier time talking about themselves than adults. So, interviewing Asher and Emery's Mom proved to be more of a challenge. It's hard for us to be transparent without thinking about who is reading, who might get offended, who might think I'm stupid. Luckily, This Reporter doesn't particularly care. And thankfully, Vanessa became convinced as well.
Over three years ago, Vanessa started having pain in her left leg. Nothing too terrible, but enough to let her know something was there. Then, one morning nearly three years ago to the day, she woke up with excruciating pain in her neck and shoulder. So much so it sent her to the Emergency room. What followed was months of MRI's, specialists, failed treatments and poor diagnoses. In may of 2006, she had surgery to replace a ruptured disk in her neck. After a long recovery, Vanessa was looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. However, after the pain associated with the disk left, it revealed that the pain in her leg had grown from light and bothersome to what became severe and life-interrupting. What followed was another year or more of mis-diagnosis, experiments in medication, treatments, and a resignation from Doctors that a) They didn't know what was wrong, and b) there wasn't anything that could be done. She was in her 30's and facing the rest of her life believing that she would have to take heavy duty medication - just to be functionable - for the rest of her life. Then She moved to California. Doctors here weren't conveinced life was over. She is in less pain now than before - not pain free, but much more able to manage and work through the pain than at any point in the last three years. She still has neck problems, replacement of one disk has weakend the adjecent disk. But She feels that she can put behind her the story that unfortunatly defined her for the last three years. She is also eager to talk about lessons learned, her kids, her strikingly handsome husband, and the other parts of her life that never dominated the conversation like pain did. Vanessa sits down with this reporter after a typical hectic suburban stay-at-home mother's day.
TR: Thanks for making time for me. First question: Has it been a long 14 years living with ole whats-his-name?
V: It feels like I've known him all my life, so yes, it does seem long. Plus, so much has happened. Our lives have completely changed. God took two kids, one making $150/week and the other making just enough to afford an apartment & eat - and look at them now. We could never have imagined this. We trusted God and we are in a place -spirtual place, physical place, emotional place - that we couldn't have dreamed.
TR: Talk about your health for a bit. We'll touch on all things Vanessa, but for a while now, this has been the main topic. How's your pain?
V: Better than a year ago. Better than 6 months ago. It feels like I've turned a corner. I'm much more active, off a lot of medication...
TR: How frustrating has it been? And follow that up with how has that frustration affected your faith.
V: No words can describe how frustrating it's been. I've never ever been able to deal with pain. My mother used to joke that it was a good thing that my brother was the one with diabetes, because I would have refused to take the shots twice a day. To have constant pain is exhausting. I'm in my 30's but felt like I was an old woman and had become convienced that was my life. Which led to depression. As to faith; I finally accepted the pain, and know that it is/was there for a higher purpose, God allowed it, and that forced my faith to be stronger. I've grown so much in my faith that it has been worth it.
TR: Name me something that you've learned about yourself in the last year.
V: I think that I'm a lot stronger than I used to give myself credit for. God won't give me more than I can handle, basically, because without him I can not handle anything, but with Him...different story. I believe my approach to problems in the future will be different.
TR: Which is more awesome; Your husband's rugged good looks, his giant brain or his infectious personality?
V: [EDIT: This is a family blog. Suffice to say, she didn't answer the question directly.]
TR: Do you miss Texas?
V: I miss friends and family.
TR: You've spoken about moving to California being a new start. Other than the obvious fact that it is, in fact, a new start, in what ways to you believe it to be so?
V: I felt like I was in a rut - the pain had a lot to do with it - I also felt I was isolated, both in Waco and to a certain extent, Waxahachie. Again, the pain was a big factor. Oddly enough, moving all the way out here, away from friends and family where I should feel more isolated, I don't. There is so much to do - thats a whole blog in and of itself - so much to explore, so many options here. I'm not sure if I would have come out of the rut and isolation in Texas, but here I HAVE too. Being this far away forced me to make friends. I've found two really good friends here. Plus, the pain alomost defined me in Waxahachie. Here I don't carry the old 'in pain' me around.
TR: OK, change of subject. Describe your children, using one word for each.
V: Asher: Gentle.
Emery: Amazing
TR: Having interviewed both, I would agree. Asher is Gentle, caring, kind and sensitive; in addition to being smart. Emery - "unique" and "different" were the first thoughts in my head, but Amazing is a good choice -probably the right choice.
V: The differences between the two is shocking. Asher is amazing in his own right, for sure. But Emery, she's funny, she's unique, she observes, she's always wanting to help, quick with a compliment, eager to do somthing..anything. She's the first out of bed everyday because she sees everyday as an adventure, she's such a people person. And she doesn't have bad days, always happy, always looking to make the day better. Now, she is hard headed and will push and push and push until she either gets her way or I yell....but that is OK too.
Not that I prefer her over Asher of course. Asher is amazing, smart, kind, a thinker. But Em is what I want to be. And she's 5.
TR: How does a stay-at-home mom keep her identity?
V: Being Mom is a part - a large part, but not all - of who I am. I think to keep who you are you have to stay in the Word. Focus on who God says you are, not what your emotions tell you. I'd tell a new mom that you will make mistakes, but give yourself to them, show them love daily - that stands to reason. Make a point to enjoy every minute of it.
TR: Good advice. Any more advice?
V: The key to a great marriage? - Take care of your husband and he'll take care of you.
TR: Wow. you should have a call in show. So, knitting. How'd that start and what does it do for you?
V: It started when I went to my friend Nicole's house and she was knitting. I knew right away it would be somthing I'd like. Knitting helps me relax while keeping my mind busy.
TR: How many projects do you have going right now?
V: I always have 5 or 6 going at one time.
TR: Any of those projects the long promised sweater for This Reporter?
V: Uhmmm, I'm making you a scarf. Well, a scarf that you can wear too.
TR: Yeah...right. In closing, tell the world one thing about yourself that they might not alread know.
V: I'm an extremly loyal person to a rare few.
Over three years ago, Vanessa started having pain in her left leg. Nothing too terrible, but enough to let her know something was there. Then, one morning nearly three years ago to the day, she woke up with excruciating pain in her neck and shoulder. So much so it sent her to the Emergency room. What followed was months of MRI's, specialists, failed treatments and poor diagnoses. In may of 2006, she had surgery to replace a ruptured disk in her neck. After a long recovery, Vanessa was looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. However, after the pain associated with the disk left, it revealed that the pain in her leg had grown from light and bothersome to what became severe and life-interrupting. What followed was another year or more of mis-diagnosis, experiments in medication, treatments, and a resignation from Doctors that a) They didn't know what was wrong, and b) there wasn't anything that could be done. She was in her 30's and facing the rest of her life believing that she would have to take heavy duty medication - just to be functionable - for the rest of her life. Then She moved to California. Doctors here weren't conveinced life was over. She is in less pain now than before - not pain free, but much more able to manage and work through the pain than at any point in the last three years. She still has neck problems, replacement of one disk has weakend the adjecent disk. But She feels that she can put behind her the story that unfortunatly defined her for the last three years. She is also eager to talk about lessons learned, her kids, her strikingly handsome husband, and the other parts of her life that never dominated the conversation like pain did. Vanessa sits down with this reporter after a typical hectic suburban stay-at-home mother's day.
TR: Thanks for making time for me. First question: Has it been a long 14 years living with ole whats-his-name?
V: It feels like I've known him all my life, so yes, it does seem long. Plus, so much has happened. Our lives have completely changed. God took two kids, one making $150/week and the other making just enough to afford an apartment & eat - and look at them now. We could never have imagined this. We trusted God and we are in a place -spirtual place, physical place, emotional place - that we couldn't have dreamed.
TR: Talk about your health for a bit. We'll touch on all things Vanessa, but for a while now, this has been the main topic. How's your pain?
V: Better than a year ago. Better than 6 months ago. It feels like I've turned a corner. I'm much more active, off a lot of medication...
TR: How frustrating has it been? And follow that up with how has that frustration affected your faith.
V: No words can describe how frustrating it's been. I've never ever been able to deal with pain. My mother used to joke that it was a good thing that my brother was the one with diabetes, because I would have refused to take the shots twice a day. To have constant pain is exhausting. I'm in my 30's but felt like I was an old woman and had become convienced that was my life. Which led to depression. As to faith; I finally accepted the pain, and know that it is/was there for a higher purpose, God allowed it, and that forced my faith to be stronger. I've grown so much in my faith that it has been worth it.
TR: Name me something that you've learned about yourself in the last year.
V: I think that I'm a lot stronger than I used to give myself credit for. God won't give me more than I can handle, basically, because without him I can not handle anything, but with Him...different story. I believe my approach to problems in the future will be different.
TR: Which is more awesome; Your husband's rugged good looks, his giant brain or his infectious personality?
V: [EDIT: This is a family blog. Suffice to say, she didn't answer the question directly.]
TR: Do you miss Texas?
V: I miss friends and family.
TR: You've spoken about moving to California being a new start. Other than the obvious fact that it is, in fact, a new start, in what ways to you believe it to be so?
V: I felt like I was in a rut - the pain had a lot to do with it - I also felt I was isolated, both in Waco and to a certain extent, Waxahachie. Again, the pain was a big factor. Oddly enough, moving all the way out here, away from friends and family where I should feel more isolated, I don't. There is so much to do - thats a whole blog in and of itself - so much to explore, so many options here. I'm not sure if I would have come out of the rut and isolation in Texas, but here I HAVE too. Being this far away forced me to make friends. I've found two really good friends here. Plus, the pain alomost defined me in Waxahachie. Here I don't carry the old 'in pain' me around.TR: OK, change of subject. Describe your children, using one word for each.
V: Asher: Gentle.
Emery: Amazing
TR: Having interviewed both, I would agree. Asher is Gentle, caring, kind and sensitive; in addition to being smart. Emery - "unique" and "different" were the first thoughts in my head, but Amazing is a good choice -probably the right choice.
V: The differences between the two is shocking. Asher is amazing in his own right, for sure. But Emery, she's funny, she's unique, she observes, she's always wanting to help, quick with a compliment, eager to do somthing..anything. She's the first out of bed everyday because she sees everyday as an adventure, she's such a people person. And she doesn't have bad days, always happy, always looking to make the day better. Now, she is hard headed and will push and push and push until she either gets her way or I yell....but that is OK too.
Not that I prefer her over Asher of course. Asher is amazing, smart, kind, a thinker. But Em is what I want to be. And she's 5.
TR: How does a stay-at-home mom keep her identity?
V: Being Mom is a part - a large part, but not all - of who I am. I think to keep who you are you have to stay in the Word. Focus on who God says you are, not what your emotions tell you. I'd tell a new mom that you will make mistakes, but give yourself to them, show them love daily - that stands to reason. Make a point to enjoy every minute of it.TR: Good advice. Any more advice?
V: The key to a great marriage? - Take care of your husband and he'll take care of you.
TR: Wow. you should have a call in show. So, knitting. How'd that start and what does it do for you?
V: It started when I went to my friend Nicole's house and she was knitting. I knew right away it would be somthing I'd like. Knitting helps me relax while keeping my mind busy.
TR: How many projects do you have going right now?
V: I always have 5 or 6 going at one time.
TR: Any of those projects the long promised sweater for This Reporter?
V: Uhmmm, I'm making you a scarf. Well, a scarf that you can wear too.TR: Yeah...right. In closing, tell the world one thing about yourself that they might not alread know.
V: I'm an extremly loyal person to a rare few.
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