Scattershooting While Wondering Whatever Happened To Prefab Sprout

It's your weekly dose of McKibben happenings, minutia, news round up and misc. stuff.

• So much to read and so little time to read it. I'm working my way through Mere Churchianity by Mike Spencer, Living Resurrection by Eugen Peterson plus the new Texas Monthly is in, with a major piece on Lonesome Dove. Plus there is a new Dietrich Bonhoeffer bio out that I'm itching to get my hands on, and a leftover birthday book on the list named Life on The Vine. Plus there is paint, pool and work to be done.
• Vanessa has never read nor seen Lonesome Dove. That will need to be remedied soon.
  
• Obama has named Harold Hurtt as the director for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s Office of State and Local Coordination. Starting July 6, Hurtt will supervise outreach and communication between ICE, local law enforcement agencies, tribal leaders and representatives from non-governmental organizations. Of course Hurtt is the former Houston police chief who supports Sanctuary Cities.
  
• In other news, the White House announced that Richard Dawkins will be an adviser for Faith-based initiatives, the Counsel for Cleric/Spouse Relations will be headed by Walker Railey, and a Fox was named Security Chief of the Capitol Hen House.
• Got World Cup Fever?!?!?! Me either.
• This is too close to the truth to be funny...

  Dad Life from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

  
  
• Note to current and future military officers: Reporter from Rolling Stone aren't on your side. Ever. Unless you are asked to give your opinion on the new Nickleback album, just offer your name, rank and serial number.
• The days are getting better, but thanks for your continued prayers.
• More to come this week...
  

That's All I've Got To Say About That, For Now.

The last week and a half has been joyful, surreal, painful, weird, amazing, depressing, sorrowful, and peaceful all bundled into one. I have a few observations, and then I really would like to talk about something else. I'm not disrespecting my Mother, nor am I running from the loss. Rather, I'm doing exactly what she would have me to do, exactly what she would have done. Get up, get dressed, eat something and get on with life. So here are some final scattershots and observations from the last week or so.


- I cannot begin to express my gratitude and appreciation for all of those who have mailed, emailed, called, and otherwise made contact with me, my dad and my sister. You've cried with us, encouraged us, shared stories with us and have been the friends and family that we needed. I said it last week, and I'll say it again; the grace that was shared with us last week has changed me. I apologize if my personal responses to you have sounded scripted or pat, but I've simply been at a loss for words. Thank you, and may God richly bless each one of you.


- I have a home church now. We might only go once a year max. We won't teach Sunday School. We won't lend a hand for VBS. It might be 2000 miles away, but FBC Pontotoc is my Church. Ken, Lewis, Mickey, Dot, Laura, the rest of the staff, the deacons and the beautiful people of this fellowship overwhelmed me with their love, concern, grace and outpouring of love. If you ever open a mission in CA, I'll be a charter member.


- I've heard horror stories of families fighting and bickering over funeral arrangements. I am blessed to have a family that was of one mind throughout the entire process. The long hard day on Saturday (that started late Friday night; none of us got sleep) was in many ways one of the most blessed days of my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Thank you Dad. Thank you Laura.


- I've always loved my sister, but I have a brand new appreciation for her now. She is awesome.


- I had this crazy idea that everything was going to be OK once we got back to California. But I spent Sunday wishing I could talk to Mom. One day at a time....


- In the middle of the pain, there were some great moments. I got to introduce my first babysitter, Sissy, to my last babysitter Vanessa. I got to get reconnected to people whom I haven't seen in 30 years. I got to hold my second cousin's baby. I ate at a pretty good mexican resturant. I saw a couple of little league games and hang out with the coolest nephews ever.


- It took less than 2 years to become a California wimp. The cold, windy weather when we were there Christmas was bad, but the heat and humidity and mosquitoes drained me. My sister asked "are you going to gasp every time you walk outside?" Yes, yes I am.


- My cousin and I were talking briefly during the visitation. He stated that a great writer is one who can say the things that you've always believed, but didn;t know how to express. for the last two years, the person who has routinely said what I couldn't quite say has been the internet monk, Mike Spencer (www.internetmonk.com) . Spencer died in April, after a 4 month battle with cancer. His first and only book Mere Churchianity was released last week. I had pre-ordered a copy, and it was waiting on me when I arrived home. The Epilogue is a journal entry discovered after his death. It was dated December 4, 2009, the day he learned there was a tumor in his brain. His words on that day have served as a huge encouragment to me they are as follows:

At approximately 1 p.m. EST, the doctor's office called to tell me there were matters of concern on the CT scan. So no matter how long one has resisted the reality that the journey will take this turn, the turn arrives without permission and without the agreement that I will be able to find some mental tatic to live in denial. the next chapter arrives at its own time and with its own concern.
Like it or not, this is what I must live with, worship with, pray with, and love with today. This is my life as it comes to me from God. This is the god I know in Jesus. This is the God who gives my life significance. Whatever I am...or whatever I hope to be comes in the love of this God for me. The day is about receiving God's love; enjoying god's love, placing my many, many fears in God's love. this is today: a new turn, a new chapter, the same loving Father whom Jesus called Abba.
Every word of the Gospel is written to men who will be dead but are now alive by the mercy of God. This is my life and the life of all other persons.

- Below is the transcript of the Message from Dr. Ken Hester, Pastor of FBC Pontotoc. Frankly, I was dreading the funeral. Partly because of, well, the obvious, and partly because I'm not really good at sitting still and listening to canned sermons. I was afraid that was what was in store. Boy, was I wrong. No wonder my Mother loved Dr. Hester. I'll close with his words, for everyone who didn't make it to the services.

One of the biggest reasons we hired Barbara was because of her BSU background. I’m a BSUer from my college days at Mississippi State. I kind of operate ministry with a BSU flair. And because of Barbara’s BSU background I knew I could count on her to: (1) Love Jesus, (2) WORK at whatever, whenever, however to get the job done, (3) be joyful in the task. And she fulfilled that everyday here at First Baptist Church.

Her first day was our Feeding of the 5,000. For those of who don’t know, Feeding of the 5,000 is when our church cooks and delivers hot, Thanksgiving-type meals to the sick, shut-in, and impoverished in Pontotoc County. We do this with great collaboration with other churches in our county. We will end up delivering about 3,000+ meals in one day. To say the least, that day is absolutely crazy. That was Barbara’s first day. No staff was in the office. The phone rings off the hook. People shouting orders. Everybody is in a hurry. And everybody seems to have a walkie-talkie but no one stays in one place. It starts early and ends in exhaustion late.

I figured that if she comes back for her second day she is either (1) Nuts, or (2) a keeper. As it turns out, she’s both.

I want to apologize to the family and to her friends, far and wide. There is no way we can adequately give Barbara the honor she is due. You don’t live a life of love and ministry to her level and then appropriately summarize it in a few minutes. I think that it would take an eternity to honor her life. And we can’t do that here.

Barbara’s real honor is not going to come from us, but from the Lord Himself. In Matthew 25:34 & 21 says,

“Then shall the King say unto them on His right hand, ‘Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. … Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.’”

You know, every semi-conscious pastor realizes that he lives or dies by his church secretary. She has the power to save your tail, or put it in a sling. I will not confess how many times she has saved me. But early on, we almost had a run-in.

Up here we love to talk and we love to eat. So, every birthday, we have a big breakfast for staff meeting. On her birthday, we schedule a big breakfast. And she commented, “You mean, I’m going to have to cook breakfast for my own birthday? Y’all just make the women cook, don’t you?” So, I said that I’ll bring the muffins. So, I did. I went to Wal-Mart, bought muffins, and brought them to our birthday breakfast.” She never complained again.

I love Barbara’s story about how she trust Jesus. She was going through some evangelism class which also meant that you went out to go make evangelistic visits. She said that while she was making her Gospel presentation that it finally dawned on her that she didn’t have to earn her salvation, but that it was a gift of God. That is so Barbara. I can just see Barbara leading this person to Jesus and then the Gospel hitting her right in the face.

I read in her obituary that she won Miss Congeniality at the Miss Mississippi pageant in Vicksburg. That’s not surprising. She never met a stranger. She fit right in.

Laura Franklin, our church’s financial secretary, and Dot Bell had a real heart friend in Barbara. Dot works up here on Wednesdays and told me that they don’t know if her and Laura will ever be able to finish a sentence. Barbara, Dot, and Laura would talk and talk and finish each other’s sentences and laugh and laugh. They had a lot of fun up here. I don’t know if they did any work, but they sure shared a lot of love.

Barbara made an impact with her life, especially with young people. We have high school girls up here to help. Mrs. Barbara would get all up in their business. She wanted to know the latest with Catherine. And when Leanna Grace worked up here, her and Mrs. Barbara had to have their talks. When Leanna graduated and went to college, she’d stop by here to check in with Mrs. Barbara. I don’t know who liked that more, Leanna Grace or Mrs. Barbara. Y’all need to know that Mrs. Barbara loved you very much.

I tell these stories, so you as a family, can know that your wonderful mother, your wonderful sister, your dear friend, never stopped being the wonderful person you knew back home, back in Texas, or when you lived under the same roof. She went by many names: Mrs. Barbara, Bam-Bam, Ba-ba-ba-ba-Barbara Ann (mine), Bar-Bar-a (Lewis), sister, Mama, or Honey. She is one incredibly wonderful person.

I love the fact that her first date with Don was on a motorcycle. I love the fact that her and Don got snowed-in at a “Sonic” because they were “talking” for two hours. I love the fact that she loved her BSU kids. I loved the fact that she loved her family and that she loved having Laura and Andy close and how proud-but-missed Lane and Venessa. I know you know this, but your move to California … well, to Barbara it felt like China. I loved watching her play with her grandkids on the floor in the office or on our church’s playground. I loved how deeply she loved her sisters, her brothers, and her mother.

Let me address her on a professional level, as her boss. I can tell you from past experience that a church secretary is a ministerial position. One doesn’t do it for the money. Not only is there administrative obligations to fulfill each week, but you also have to take care of people. Sometimes they are spitting mad. Sometimes they are sad and hurting. Sometimes they are on cloud nine. Sometimes they need a benevolent hand. Sometimes they are con artists. Sometimes they need someone to talk to. Sometimes they have questions. Sometimes they have opinions.

Barbara McKibben was the consummate church secretary. She worked here for 3 and ½ years. She was a friend, a mother-figure, a mentor, a listener, a talker, a prankster, a care-giver, a laugher, a fan, a supporter, an encourager, a believer (in Jesus, in you, and the Jesus in you), an instigator, a finisher, a patriot, a loyalist, a holder of babies and hands, a backer, a fronter, a side-kick, an evangelist, a counselor, a preacher, a planner, a boogie-ing Baptist, a hugger, as well as a wife, a mom, a grandmother, a daughter, and a sister.

Let me address her on a personal level, as her friend. I’m going to miss her. I’m going to miss how she wouldn’t want to be too much trouble, but how she would have loved to be here and listen to all of this. I am going to miss her encouraging lies like how each Sunday my sermon was meant specifically for her, and “No ma’am, Mrs. Barbara, I haven’t lost any weight.” I am going to miss how we both liked listening to 1950’s music. I’m going to miss her laugh. I’m going to miss her blue eyes. I’m going to miss her lean-in-hand-on-cheek hugs she gave me. I’m going to miss her tears at the Veterans Day Parade and in church services. I’m going to miss that she had her favorite flavor of Moon Pie. I’m going to miss her love for everything Mississippi State. I am going to miss her doing so badly at our office’s NCAA basketball bracket picks. I am going to miss how she always accuses Dot of cheating. I am going to miss her being Barbara.

You know, this is a shock to all of us. We knew it was bad, but even in our worse case scenarios, we imagined that we would have more time. This doesn’t seem real.

We knew she didn’t always feel good, but looking back, I wonder just how bad she really felt and how she just plowed through, never letting on how bad she actually felt. She would just smile and laugh and carry on through all of the pain.

I am grateful that she did not have to endure a long and hard and eventually unsuccessful journey of chemo-therapy.

This body, her body, your body is going to pass away. The body lives under the curse. This day would indeed by utterly tragic if it were not for the Gospel of Jesus. I love how Paul put it in I Corinthians 15:51-57.

The Eulogy I Could Never Have Given

While sitting in a small consultation room in the CCU after just being told of my Mother's death, and waiting to go in the room and see her; my dad, sister and I began talking about the arrangements. I spoke up and volunteered to say a few words at the funeral. The next day we decided to keep the service short and simple out of consideration for the kids in the family. I was relieved. I would have loved to speak, but I am pretty sure I would have dissolved into a blubbering idiot. Plus, Dr. Ken Hester delivered the perfect message. I did however write a few things down on Friday night and Saturday - plus I've read many stories that friends and family have sent about Mom. What follows is my thoughts mixed in with what others have said in the last few days.


I volunteered to say a few things about my Mom. Which sounded like a good idea until I tried to think of something to say. My mother wasn't typical, so I didn't want to give a typical eulogy - tell when she was born, when she died, where she lived, who she was related too, followed by a few standard words of what she meant to me and my family. I wanted to say something profound, thought, as well as memory,- provoking. But then I remembered that my Mother thought everything I said was brilliant, so I'm just going to go for it.

I'd like to tell you stories about her. But I'm afraid some of those stories might leave the wrong impression; She won Miss Houston and competed in Miss Mississippi - but she didn't fit the beauty queen stereotype. She had weird mom phrases like "I'll make you think..". for example if I said "Mom, I'm going to the lake", she would reply "I'll make you think your going to the lake!" if she had other plans for me. But that might her sound, well, confusing, which she wasn't. I could tell how she look on in disbelief as my father and I put both mashed and sweet potatoes on our plates during a potluck. But that would give the impression that she was fussy, which she wasn't.

Instead, let me tell you about her Legacy. I don't know that Mom ever thought about her legacy. If she did, she kept it to herself. I'll be honest here and admit that I have thought about mine. How will I be remembered? What will be posted to my wife and kid's facebook walls when I'm gone? I'm not sure what mine will be, but if it is half of my Mom's, then I'm an OK guy. Her legacy is tied to the roles she played in life.

First, she was friend. A fierce friend. It's been said she never met a stranger, which is true. She treated just about everyone the same. However, it took her a while to become your friend. But once she did, you had a friend you could "trust with your checkbook" as my Dad would say. She was loyal, a confidant, a counselor, a listener, your chef if that's what you needed, a babysitter (of both children and adults), one who would offer an opinion - even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear, a shoulder to cry on, a partner to cry with, a helper, a giver, one who was always there. We all need friends like her.

She was a teacher. She taught people from the nursery to the nursing home. And some of it was in a class setting in Sunday School, VBS or in a college course. I had the privilege of being in a class with her my 2nd semester in college. She even tried to teach the instructor her views of eschatology. I won't mention who got the better grade in that class (though she often did). We received messages describing the way she taught in everyday life. Some have mentioned she taught them what it meant to be a Christ follower. Others have said she taught them to be a Mother, or how to have a Godly marriage. She taught me those things as well. Almost as important, she taught me how to make good cornbread. Recently, she taught me how to face illness, bad news and ultimately, death. I spoke with her last Sunday and she told me "son, if everything is OK, I'll be OK. And if things aren't OK, I'm OK".

She was a mother. In many ways. She was a second mother to many. Mine, Laura, and my Dad's facebook walls and inboxes have been filled in the last few days of stories from her ministry at the BSU (or BSM, for you progressive types). There isn't a doubt that she had a gift with college students. So many have testified how she would listen & counsel them. And that her love and care for her "kids" didn't stop at the edge of campus, or after graduation.

Of course, she was the first mother to me and my sister. And what a mother she was. It is difficult to put into words really, so I'll use this example. One day when I was in high school, it was close to my Mother's birthday, so I went to the Mall with a friend to find her something. Now, let it be known that I'm not the world's greatest shopper (except for the beach towel I bought my sister for her birthday in January - THAT was awesome). After wandering around for a while my friend finally asked "What are you looking for?". "I don't know", I replied, "what do you get for a woman who has nothing?". He asked what was she into, what hobbies did she have. That was the point, she didn't knit, sew, stitch, quilt, scrapbook, garden, shop or anything. I told my friend "I don't know, she's just into us I guess". I didn't understand it then, but I do now. She was into us. Some moms loved it when school started back in the fall. Mom dreaded that day - and was as happy as us on the last day of school. Everything she did was in some way directly related to us. That's why she didn't start with her important ministry with the college kids until we were in college. She was all the things a good mom should be, and so much more. Remember what kind of friend I said she was? What kind of teacher? Double that and that's exactly what kind of Mother she was to Laura and I. The verse that she embedded in me was "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". There should be another verse that says "I can do all things through Christ and Mom, one gives me strength, the other believes in me". She was a believer in Lane. She was my biggest fan. (Vanessa is my biggest fan now, but Mom was a close 2nd for the last 15 years.).

I'm not sure how old I was, but I was pretty young when I realized that one day, my parents would make pretty good grandparents. And I was right. Mom was the perfect grandmother. My son Asher was the first grandbaby. The day we brought him home from the hospital we entered our house to the smell of butterbeans, peas, cornbread, chicken, and all the other comfort food that she was famous for. I realized soon afterwards that she did that not for me and Vanessa. No, she did that knowing that we'd be too busy eating to hold the baby. After the meal she said "y'all look tired, why don't you take a nap". Well, were were exhausted, so we did. She was sneaky, that Memaw. We thought she was being nice, but all she wanted was a solid two hours with her Asher. She screamed and then cried when we told her we were having a daughter. She loved living close to Matthew and Josh, loved playing with them, loved watching their ball games, loved watching them grow. I've heard it said that you can measure a person's worth by how they are thought of by their grandchildren. If that is true, MeMaw was undoubtedly the greatest person on earth.

Let's not forget that she was a wife to my Dad for nearly 42 years. I remember sitting in church one Sunday and my dad was helping with the offering. As he was walking down the aisle in his sport coat and tie, my mom leaned over and whispered in my ear "Look how handsome he is, how well he carries himself, so straight and proud..". That is the moment I realized "wow, she digs dad". And she did. She would follow him anywhere and she almost did. Mississippi, Tennessee, South Texas, North Texas, back to South Texas and finally home to Mississippi. I don't know that Dad's confidence came from Mom, but I'm pretty sure that was the case. They were opposites in many ways, but their marriage set a firm example of what I wanted my marriage to look like. It is so fitting that the last face she saw on Friday night before she went Home was his.

Above all of those my Mother was a woman of faith. Simple faith. Let's be clear, that doesn't mean her faith was blind, or immature. It was a deep, direction-giving, life-leading faith. But it was simple. She was unencumbered by theological platitudes and she was unmoved by the latest church growth trends. She simply believed that God was able and willing to do all the things he said he would do. I'll admit, at times, that was incredibly frustrating to me. "Mom, it's simply not that easy!" I'd say. But over time I've come to realize that yes, it is that easy. We try to complicate things, or try to construct doctrine or dogma that limits God. But, oh, how profound a faith it is that trusts Him Who Is Able with all things. That faith is what made her a good friend, a teacher, a loving 2nd mother, a great 1st Mom, and a dedicated spouse. She wasn't just a hearer, but also a doer. And she practiced that faith in our house, and on campus, and in your kitchen, on the floor with her grandkids, in church and everywhere she went.

I am reminded in Hebrews Chapter 10 of the "great cloud of witnesses" who have gone before us. Christ is our example in all things, but that gathering of witnesses, those who have gone before us whose lives proved that following Christ was more than another religion, their legacies are our encouragement in all things. Mom joined that great cloud on Friday. Her legacy isn't our example - "Be imitators of Christ" - but rather, her legacy is a tremendous encouragement to me, and all who mourn, that a simple yet tremendous faith can impact the lives of your family, friends, and all who you meet. I pray that my children's and nephew's legacy copies that of their Grandmother. And one day, when friends and family are gathered to celebrate my homegoing, that it will be said of me "He followed Christ, and He was his Mother's Son".

Barbara McKibben, 1945-2010

Last night, I was sitting here in my parent's dinning room, typing a blog update on the status of my Mom's condition.  Just before posting at 11:30, I recieved the call that we needed to hurry back to the Hospital.  She was struggling to breath all day and it grew worse and worse as the night wore on.  She passed just before midnight. 

So many things I'd like to say, but I can't right now.  I've volunteered to deliver the eulogy, but there isnt a realistic chance of that happening.  I've attached the obituary that will be run in the local paper, as well as the Denison Herald-Democrat.  They're church, FBC Pontotoc will serve lunch on Noon Tuesday for all family and out of town friends. 

On behalf of my family I want to thank each and everyone of you who sent cards to Mom. Her room was  so full that you would have thought she had been in the hospital 4 weeks, not 4 days.  The grace that has been domonstrated by so many of you has changed me.

Please continue to pray for my Dad.  She was his soulmate, best friend, partner in crime and wife for almost 42 years.  The funeral will just be the begining for him.

Barbara Ann McKibben

Barbara Ann (Gann) McKibben died Friday, June 11th at NMMC. She was born August 10, 1945 to Bobbie Lee and Gertrude Criddle Gann. Barbara graduated from Houston High School in 1963 and attended Clark College, Itawamba Community College and Grayson County College in Denison, TX. She was selected Miss Houston in 1963 and was later awarded MISS CONGENIALITY in the Miss Mississippi pageant in Vicksburg.



While living in Texas, Barbara was employed with Baptist Student Ministries at Grayson Community College, since returning to her native Mississippi almost 4 years ago, she has been employed at First Baptist Church in Pontotoc.



She is survived by Don her husband of almost 42 years, Son Lane(Vanessa), Daughter Laura(Andy) Clark, Grandchildren, Asher McKibben, Matthew Clark, Emery McKibben and Joshua Clark, her mother Gertrude Criddle Gann of Houston, MS, her brothers William (Mable) Gann of Houston, Hubert (Monette) Gann of Vardaman and Bobby (Barbara) Gann of Starkville and many nieces and nephews.



She was preceded in death by her father, Bobbie Lee Gann, brothers Rubin Wayne Gann, Walter Gann, sisters Mavis Bell and Mary Jo Baird.



Visitation is scheduled for Monday, June 14th from 5-8 PM at the Fellowship Hall of First Baptist Church, Pontotoc. Funeral services are scheduled for Tuesday, June 15th at First Baptist Church Pontotoc. Services will be conducted by Dr. Ken Hester. Browning Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements.



Pallbearers will be Larry Gann, Glenn Gann, Michael Gann, John Gann, Dr. Everett McKibben, Phillip McKibben, Ric West and Mike Pettit. The Deacons of First Baptist Pontotoc will serve as Honorary Pallbearers.



In lieu of flowers, donations are requested to be made to First Baptist Church, Pontotoc and Baptist Student Ministries of Grayson County College, Denison, TX 75020.